Earn 3 CEUs!
Chip Neuenschwander, MA, LMFT, is the founder of Wayzata Counseling and a therapist specializing in Discernment Counseling, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and couples in transition. He is known for his clear teaching style, practical frameworks, and ability to help clinicians navigate ambivalence, marital distress, and high-stakes relationship decisions with confidence and compassion.
Description
Working with divorce-ambivalent clients presents some of the most complex challenges in therapy. These individuals arrive in significant distress, uncertain whether to stay in the marriage, pursue separation, or attempt repair. In such cases, they are often not ready for traditional couples therapy. This presentation offers clinicians a clear, practical framework for effectively supporting leaning-out clients using the principles outlined by Bill Doherty in his training on divorce ambivalence.
A major emphasis of the training is applying a systemic lens within individual work. Participants will learn how to help clients see their role in interactional patterns, such as pursue–withdraw, overfunctioning–underfunctioning. This reframing expands the client’s narrative and often reveals growth opportunities relevant to both their current marriage and any future relationships.
The presentation also covers best practices for supporting clearer decision-making. Clinicians will learn how to shift clients away from a false binary (“stay miserable or leave”) and toward a more realistic choice: whether to pursue a structured round of couples work or move toward separation. Strategies for helping clients communicate with their spouses about help-seeking will also be introduced.
Therapists will be better equipped to navigate the emotional, relational, and ethical complexities surrounding divorce ambivalence and to guide clients toward thoughtful, well-supported decisions about their relationships.
Objectives:
1. Participants will identify the key challenges of working with divorce-ambivalent, leaning-out clients.
2. Participants will conduct a focused assessment that includes timing, urgency, hard/soft problems, and third-party involvement.
3. Participants will apply a systemic lens to help clients recognize their role in relational patterns.
4. Participants will distinguish between supporting clarity and attempting relationship improvement in individual work.
5. Participants will validate client emotions without adopting or colluding with the client’s marital narrative.
